I'm lost in life. like, i don't even know anymore and i don't know if i want to care anymore.
I've changed soooo much. Just reading back at some of my older posts makes me wonder, "who the hell is this guy?"
I"m easily influenced, or more like I easily go back to the person i was but even worse. idk.
It seems as if i can't fully concentrate on God. like, it's the hardest thing to do.
How can i change? I mean, do I really want to change? All the stuff i'm doing now, it's really fun. Temporary, instant gratification. Better than long term pain.
I can't do it alone. I need Him, but I also want another person alongside. Why can't i do this alone with HIm? Why can't i be mature enough.
This is dumb.
I want to give up.
What about my future?
I don't even know anymore.
There is no greater joy or blessing than to have a family of your own, but am I a guy suitable for that? lol.
Will I change?
I don't know.
There are plenty of times where I felt empty, but it wasn't something any other person could help me fix. Usually God will help me out of my problems and there are other times where talking to a significant other could easily relieve my stress due to the situation. But now, this emptiness I feel, I feel like no man can help me satisfy this emptiness. I only know He can help me, but everytime i try, I fall into the same hole, but even deeper.
I'm becoming more cold hearted.
cold heart.
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lol damn i feel like writing only made this worse. what the hell mang.
someone help me.
